Visit the original website for my first--and unreadable--novel, The Funnercise Handbook!

Coming sometime between now and never: some short stories.

Kevin Rontel is a 23 year-old ape enthusaist who loves poetry and stands to inherit the throne of the Zwony King of Plynth upon the death of his corrupt father, the Zwony King of Plynth.

Until he died, Strapping Danforth entertained thousands with his acerbic wit and relentless pursuit of truth.  Mr. Danforth's words always managed to touch a soft, tender, pink, and completely imaginary spot in the in the Colorado music scene.

Elk must carry the body of his father, Strapping Danforth, from the mountains of Colorado to a Mexican coast.  Saddled with impossible odds, bad luck, and a tiny IQ, he enjoins upon an epic journey that teaches him about love, sex, death, and even more love.

A cosmopolitan pleasure-seeker, Brett is a music journalist who doesn't make shit up. In a series of intimate interviews, he extracts the straight poop on several artists associated with Sparky the Dog Records.

(Mr. Duesing is an actual human.)