The Funnercise Handbook was my first novel, finished in 2006.
It was rejected by 137 literary agents and/or publishers
before I conceded
the truth (that the book was terrible) and wrote East of Denver.
The website was kinda fun, though.
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The novel, The Funnercise Handbook includes several chapters of The Funnercise Handbook, the self-help book written by main character, Cordon Pruitt. All illustrations are by Lucas Richards. |
#1 Stationary Leg Lift |
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The Funnercise adventure begins with a single vomin. You can start with practically anything, but for your first technique I recommend the Stationary Leg Lift.
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#2 Tread Upon Your Tip-Toes |
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#3 Small Vessel Hydration |
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The person who invented the |
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#4 Change to Change |
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Ever notice that metal weighs substantially more than paper? |
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#5 Defense for Fitness |
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There will come a time when you must subdue another human being. When this time comes, try to do it with your bare hands. Ideally, you have been taking martial arts classes for the past year. The martial arts are several disciplines of combat that teach the value of momentum, speed, physical perfection, and mental wisdom. They include Karate, Aikido, Tai Chi, Judo, Jujitsu and Tae Bo. Also recommended are boxing, street fighting, or wrestling. If you have not been trained in hand-to-hand combat, it's a good idea to throw things. Go for heavy items. |
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#6 Vitruvian Can |
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Hold two cans of food tightly in your fists. I prefer beans, but you may chose something else. Funnercise is all about choice. Stretch your arms out and wave the cans up and down. If you wish, you may also hop on one foot. I do this vomin while I’m waiting for my eggs to hard-boil but you can do it whenever you want!
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